I just returned from the dermatologist. She looked at my nails and said they were not a definitive indicator of psoriasis. She said what’s happening to them could be a reaction to anything going on in my body. Hmmm, that’s helpful. She said, “It’s a lot like the rash you had on your breasts and trunk that could have been a reaction to many different things, even something like breast cancer.” Really? Did you have to throw that in there?
And then I mentioned that I was starting to experience changes somewhere else. (And now, you are about to realize that I am sharing what is going on with me not just for my own sake-but to hopefully help others.) I mentioned that I was experiencing this in my rear area. Ah, the joys of autoimmunity just keep getting better, folks. Lucky me got to undress and have that area examined. Glad my dermatologist is a female. It wouldn’t have happened otherwise.
And that’s when she said, “Well, now I think you are correct. It does look like you have psoriatic arthritis.” (That will be a few hundred dollars.) But wait, it gets better. Then she said, “But just to be 100% sure, I’d like to do a biopsy.” Really? First it was my breast she biopsied–which came back inconclusive. Now, it’s my behind. So, this little mama has stitches in her rear right now. How’s that for a little transparency?
She told me to come back in twelve days to have the stitches removed. I reminded her that the stitches in my breast came undone the day after they were put in and I had a bleeding, gaping cut that I tended to with steri strips. Couldn’t I just take the stitches out myself? She pointed out that it might be difficult since they are behind me. Oh, yeah, duh. Well, then my husband can take them out. There, problem solved and follow-up appointment avoided.
“You know,” my derm. said, “There is no cure for psoriatic arthritis. You will have to manage this the rest of your life. You should really start a biologic.” I told her that I would like to finish my attempt with antibiotics. She squished up her face and said, “But antibiotics aren’t a treatment for psoriatic arthritis.” Uh, thanks. I’ll take it from here. She also asked me (sounding very surprised) why I wouldn’t want to start a biologic right away. This question put me off a little. She said it like there are not side effects to biologics.
As I was walking to the desk to check out, I was caught off guard by the feeling of tears welling up in my eyes. When I got home, I couldn’t help but cry. I think that I had to process being told once again by someone in the medical profession that what I have is without a cure and lifelong. I knew this going in to my appointment and wasn’t told anything new by the time I left. But for some reason, there were tears. And now I’m sitting here a bit more collected, but with a bandaid on my behind!