In the Beginning

In a nutshell, I am sharing because God put it on my heart to do it.  My perfectionism has been a curse and I have put it off for quite a long time.  I often think of all the things lost–the struggles overcome, the journey through denial and the quest for answers.  Where do I start?  So many things to share.  Let me start by saying that whatever is going on in my body is more real than the nose on my face.  I am attempting to manage this rheumatic fire with the guidance of not only my rheumatologist, but a Dr. of naturopathy.  It will be two years in June since symptoms first emerged.  The fire continues to spread and I have learned to live with chronic pain.  But I have chosen this path because I want to breastfeed my baby as long as I possibly can and avoid the potential side effects that the drugs hold.  I often wonder if and when the day will come when I decide to attack this destructive fire with med.s.  I trust that I will have a peace about it when it is time.  Either that, or I will crack physically and emotionally and go running to my rheumatologist crying and telling him that I am finally ready.

And let’s face it folks–I am here because I could use some therapy.  Writing it down just feels good sometimes.  It helps you go–aaaahhhh….   I also hope to make some friends along the way.  I truly believe that I stumbled upon certain bloggers for a reason in just His time.  I have enjoyed reading about how they get through each day.  It brings comfort and laughter, and quite honestly–tears.  My heart breaks when I read of how some of you feel.  The words of different bloggers come to my thoughts throughout the day because of the similarities.  I soon hope to share the things I have done in my search for answers and the things I am doing now.


12 thoughts on “In the Beginning

  1. And forever I will be on your side doing all that I can to support, encourage, help, understand, listen, and comfort my best friend, life partner, lover, and wife through the strength that God is giving me.

  2. What your prince said… that’s beautiful!
    I thank God for you and I am so grateful, so very grateful, to be your mother and friend. Whatever you need me to do I will run and do it. I love you.

    • I thank God for you, mom. You are simply the best. And a wonderful prayer warrior to have on my side. I am looking forward to spending mother’s day with you. What a blessing from God. And, like I said, I am calling in the troops. The boys could use a little Gramma and Grandpa love. See you soon!

  3. I can certainly understand wanting to nurse your baby as long as possible. Are you taking no meds at all? I’m pretty sure there are options for you other than mtx.

    Welcome to the blogosphere!

  4. I am so glad you are blogging. RA took me by surprise leaving me shocked, angry and so sad. I am working through it though and I really think the blog will help me. As much as I think RA is horrible the people I am meeting because of it certainly aren’t.

    • I can definitely relate to the shocked, angry and sad part. There were days when I just couldn’t read anything about RA online. Too much of a downer sometimes. I’m in a different place today. Thank God… It truly helps to have peace in knowing there is a bigger picture and this is much bigger than just me. But living with pain does just plain suck. And grieving the loss of the ability to do things also sucks. I believe that is an ongoing process as the disease takes it’s twists and turns. There is no way around that. But–the disease cannot ravage our spirits if we lean on God. I’m glad you are blogging too. You are so right–the people I’ve connected with our wonderful. Thanks for stopping by. : )

  5. My husband was diagnosed in September 09. Mostly it’s me doing all the research and reading different blogs and websites. I am looking for suppport for spouses. Do you know of any??

  6. Hi Cindy,

    I’m so glad you asked about this. And I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. I’ve often wondered about support for spouses as well and don’t know of any that I can mention. If you haven’t already been to RA Guy’s site, he might be a good resource. I think his site would also be helpful to you since it offers well written posts from a man’s perspective of what it’s like to live with RA.

  7. This is a reply for Cindy. There is a site I found for my hubby called wellspouse. I believe it is

    I hope that helps! If not, I would suggest just reading a few blogs you like. A lot of us can put this disease into perspective for non-RAers, or at least,that is what my husband tells me. 🙂

    You are so wonderful to want to understand and help both your hubby and yourself through this journey.

    – RA SB

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