My story

I have lived thirty-eight years on this planet. The most wonderful day of my life was when I asked Jesus to be a part of it. He had always been there. He was just waiting for me to ask. I was twenty-four. I live my life to fulfill whatever His plan and purpose is for me for His glory. Because at the end of the day, that’s what life is all about for me. I trip and stumble every day, but in the process, I enjoy the sweetest intimacy and love I have ever known through my relationship with Him. I adore Him and He me. He adores you too–no matter what. (In case you didn’t know.)

I am a stay at home mother of four incredible boys (ages 2, 9, 11, 13/all c-section) and the wife of a prince cometh. We call Texas home. I was not born here and I did not get here as fast as I could as some people here say, but it’s a wonderful place to be for now. I am the oldest daughter of parents who have loved and supported me from day one and I have the sweetest sister on the planet.

I love all things artistic and creative, just about anything vintage, curling up with a good book or my laptop, and anything interior design related makes my heart swoon. These are a few of the things my disease hasn’t rob me the pleasure of and help keep me calm and happy. Wish I could say that about working out, eating out and getting out and about!

Growing up, I considered myself pretty stinkin’ healthy. I didn’t get sick very often, I was physically fit and involved in various sports. I went on to have four healthy babies and always shocked the nurses at the hospital with how quickly I recovered from each c-section.

But in 2006, I began to experience pain in my neck that I knew wasn’t normal. My wrists were also beginning to hurt and my hands would get occasional tingling sensations. It caused me to seek out a doctor. I asked a friend for a referral because I didn’t have a doctor. Remember, I was healthy. Doctor referred me to occupational therapy for my neck and said it was probably just sore muscles, never ordered x-rays, told me to pick up carpal tunnel wrist bands at the drug store and wrote me off as a stressed mother. Fast forward six years, multiple mentions of neck pain to different doctors, requests for x-rays, and finally an MRI reveals a large bulging disc pressing on my spinal cord. Stressed? At this point, I think so.

Next health oddity was in 2007. The thumb on my left hand became swollen, extremely painful and difficult to bend. I’m left handed. I sought out a hand surgeon for this. My primary care physician had already written me off as stressed. I wanted a specialist of some kind and it was the only place I could think to start. He was baffled, asked me more than once if I was sure I hadn’t jammed my hand, offered steroids and left it at that.

Then came my feet. I distinctly remember my feet first starting to hurt in ways they had never hurt on my honeymoon later in 2007. It was easy to write this off in my mind at the time because we were doing a ton of walking and I wasn’t wearing what you might consider the best shoes for walking long distances. But they weren’t that bad. But then came severe heel pain. The bones in my heels felt as if a ball peen hammer had been taken to them. I was working out regularly on my feet at the time and wrote this off as a footwear issue as well. Finally, I sought out a podiatrist. X-rays looked fine and I was told it was probably plantar fasciitis. I was pregnant with my fourth baby at the time. I followed up by doing the stretches, rolling my feet on tennis balls and ice water bottles to no avail. I had no choice but to quit working out entirely because it became too painful. This broke my heart, but I considered it temporary.

It wasn’t until I went to my hand surgeon a second time after the birth of my fourth baby in 2009 with the pinky on my right hand swollen and painful that I was referred to a rheumatologist. This is when I sort of kind of freaked out. My first and former rheumatologist (who looked straight out of medical school) told me it looked like I had rheumatoid arthritis at my first visit. I walked out with with drug information handouts, a pit in my stomach and a follow-up appointment.

It was after the birth of my fourth baby that my body (my immune system) never truly felt the same again. It wasn’t too long after the birth that I came down with a painful kidney infection, and had issues with mastitis over and over again in the months that followed. And then, a couple toes swelled to twice their size and became extremely painful.

The only option and suggestion I’d been given by my rheumatologist at the time was to act fast with drugs–the heavier, the better. I was breast feeding my fourth baby at the time and it was extremely important to me to continue doing so. So, I also consulted with my current Doctor of Naturopathy and nutritionist and chose to attack my disease naturally with diet and supplements as long as I possibly could in order to continue breastfeeding. I knew it was a fine line I was dancing with my health. I had done the research into the disease. I went as long as I could until I had to make a pharmaceutical choice. It was time to shut the party down. Inflammation, pain and swelling were out of control.

After further research into my disease and my options, I chose to try an alternative therapy for autoimmune arthritis with a new rheumatologist that I found through the Road Back. I followed an antibiotic protocol in an attempt to manage my disease from 8/5/10-4/29/11. I experienced incredible results and wish more people would consider the possibilities of this treatment. The evidence is there. For my situation, it was the lesser of the two evils to start with in terms of a pharmaceutical approach to managing the pain and destruction that my autoimmune arthritis was causing.

In September of 2010, I was given a new diagnosis of psoriatic arthritis because psoriasis developed under my fingernails and toenails. To this day, my blood work is pretty fabulous. Go figure. But I don’t need blood work and x-rays and MRIs to tell me something has gone after my body with the vengeance of a fire.

These days, I am pharmaceutical free, live in Dansko and Naot shoes and manage to do most of what I would like to do to some degree–most, but not all. My body isn’t what it used to be, that’s for sure. It’s an achy bag of bones as a result of coming under attack and it continues to feel the after effects. But I think in the grand scheme of things, I’m doing pretty awesome considering what I’m dealing with. I’m certainly better off now than when I was first diagnosed. Eating clean and taking key supplements keeps me going these days.

I decided to blog because it was put on my heart to put down in writing what God is doing in my life and to connect with others. I have been so touched by what other bloggers have shared. Talk about therapy. Thank you for putting words to so many emotions and hidden thoughts. And thank you for your advocacy work and devotion to your blogs. It’s only fair I give something back through my story.

At this point in my life, I feel as if my life has changed from that of a physical battle to a spiritual walk (through a physical battle).  And I am a better person for it. It doesn’t mean that I don’t cry and mourn some days for the loss of my health. I went into this disease eating well, exercising regularly and loving life. But I’m trusting Him one day at a time.